What do you do when your kid says “it hurts when I bend my arm”?

Do you rush over, and start asking: “Do you need ice? How about some painkiller? We could put a warm compress on it. Do you need a band-aid? We’d better call Urgent Care and get an appointment for you!” If you do this, my friend, you are a nurturer.

I know for sure I am not a nurturer, because when my kid says, “it hurts when I bend my arm” I say, “well, then stop bending your arm!” No, I am not a nurturer.

There are 2 general types of people: a nurturer and a leader. Most of us fit somewhere in between the two.

The way a nurturer gets unstuck is very different from the way a leader gets unstuck. Since nurturers spend most of their time taking care of others, they have to make sure they take some time to nurture themselves. Here’s what that might look like:

  • taking a nice warm bubblebath
  • relaxing and reading a good book
  • enjoying some quiet time on the back porch with a cup of coffee

If you’re a leader like me, all that lying around would drive you just a little crazy.

From one leader to another, I’m going to give you a sure-fire way to get yourself unstuck…and it’s not what you think.

But first I’d like to tell you what this little unknown secret did for me over the past 6 weeks. I finished writing my first non-fiction book. I also designed its cover and put it up for sale on Amazon. I took a bigger step into social media and increased my fan base fivefold. I wrote a formal business plan and submitted it for peer review. I lost six pounds and at least 1 dress size…oh, wait! I am getting surprisingly close to the big reveal! Are you ready for it?

Leaders thrive on a new challenge. If you’re not going for a challenge, you will tend to create one for yourself. This could be negative or positive – it could involve unnecessary drama or hurt feelings on the job or it could be positive like a new skill to learn, a new market to conquer, or a new product or service to offer.

These things are business-related challenges, but did you know that personal development challenges can have long-lasting effects on your business? Specifically, leaders thrive on a physical challenge. For me, this meant a new and rather extreme weight and fitness program, in a group that’s competing against each other, but at the same time, we’re cheering each other on. A physical challenge could also mean training for a marathon, a triathlon, or just learning a new sport.

This works because it forces the leader to expand his or her belief of what they think they can do. When you take one step beyond your perceptions of your limits, it forces your limits to expand. In a very real sense, our limits are self-imposed by what we think we can or can’t do…when you push beyond that limit, even in an area that’s unrelated to your business, your belief level increases. You quite literally become stronger on the inside and the outside.

So what about you? Do you need to spend more time writing, but you can’t seem to make yourself do it? Need to get unstuck? Think outside the box just a little and give yourself a physical challenge. See if this one little act inspires you to move at least one foot off the starting block.

I’d love to hear how you get unstuck – drop me a note in the comments section!

2 thoughts on “How to Get Unstuck – In Writing (and in Life)

  • October 10, 2012 at 9:28 am

    This is SO true. I wouldn’t consider myself a true leader in the traditional sense of the word, but I’m sure one in this sense. I must create new challenges or I’m toast. With butter.

    And I never saw it in this way, so thank you. This may have rescued me just in the nick of time.

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